I am Millie's Mumma.
I have decided to join the blogger world, why you might ask? Well lets just say its a nice place to escape from the real world and release my thoughts.
Let me sum up my life for you so we have a background.
Parents separated at 10 years old, I have a sister 2 years older than me who still acts like she is 3 (does not work, is a dole bludger with mental health issues and who my mother still runs after daily ..) i.e she is 3 years old. I fell pregnant a month off my 18th birthday to one of the biggest idiots I have ever me, please know before you judge me it was not planned (I know everyone says that but I actually used protection I was just in the .2% of failure). That .2% failure pretty much sums up my life seems like its constantly I am in the small ratio of people where shit does .. JUST NOT go as planned. But hey that's life right? I have tried to let go and just roll with it.
So here is me, 21 with a 3 year old (Millie).
I am currently at my mothers house, and have been pretty much housebound for the past 8 weeks. Why I live at my mothers is a story for next time but for now just know this is the first time I have been back with my mother since I was 15 and moved out (to live in a different country away from her). Also know that I have a full time career which I have worked hard to build, so why have I been at home for the last 8 weeks you ask? Because I was in a car crash. A young lady decided it would be fun to speed and not concentrate and hit me at roughly 70kms per hour into my stationary vehicle sending me flying up a concrete barrier and over 3 lanes of oncoming traffic. Yes it was quite a day. But I survived.
After concussion (which included not remembering the year, month or the prime minister...yep pretty freaky stuff), severe whiplash and a neck injury I was sent home from hospital. And although they don't sound like major stuff I wish I just broke my arm or something instead.... simple break simple fix not having to worry if possibly my neck may never be the same again. Anyway the painkillers and appointments are all in place and hopefully with time this improves.
Onto the next subject. Today is Sunday, and my mother has left the house to socialise as per usual. Although I am not complaining as it means the house is quiet and I am free to parent as I please and do as I please without someone watching over me constantly commenting on what I should do or what I didn't do or how I could do something better. Ahh peace yes blissful peace, rare with a 3 year old who is currently fast asleep. Why do we love our children so much more when they are asleep haha who knows but I do know I love her more looking at her fast asleep.
My day today consists of puzzles, games, dolls, playing hairdresser, watching Lilo and Stitch for the hundredth time.. etc etc. I wonder if anyone else's children watch movies on repeat constantly in a vicious cycle or is it just mine? Then again I am like that with music listen to one song I love all the time until I ruin it. I have learnt from this by using the Pandora app which is wonderful by the way I definitely recommend it to anyone.
So I also have her dinner out of the freezer defrosting as we are into our fourth day gluten free. Millie has had health problems her whole life with spouts in hospital linked mostly to a weak immune system and bowel problems. Thanks to her lovely father for giving me the most stressful pregnancy of my life and causing a premature labour. Any who after exhausting all resources and being told not much can be done apart from loading her up on medication she with time will hopefully "improve", I decided to seek a naturopaths help as recommended by a friend. straight away diagnosed her as gluten and possibly dairy intolerant. Has anyone tried explaining to a 3 year old why she can no longer eat her favourite foods and her whole diet has changed? yeah its great fun.... NOT! anyway the only meal she has eaten so far without me ramming it down her throat is my homemade GF spag bowl so I decided to freeze as much as I could and as I cannot be bothered with an argument tonight that will do. Knowing my luck she will hate it tonight but fingers crossed for me okay?
This is my second day of trying not to sleep during the day. Everyday after the accident I have been so exhausted I have been napping during the day while my daughter is at daycare, I am trying my best to not nap and get back to normal so out goes the naps and im comes the coffee. Yes I said COFFEE! After over a year of trying my hardest not to drink it, its snuck back into my life. I will attempt to slowly wean it out again once things are back under control. Although im sure anyone would agree coffee is much better than my energy drink addicton when Millie was a baby. And please do not judge me on this if you have not been a single mother on your own, alone in a different country from your family and with no support it is NOT easy to raise a premature baby alone, feeding every 3 hours around the clock for 5 weeks while trying to sleep for the odd hour you get in between. Yeah that stage of my life is pretty much a blur... make a bottle of thickened formula, feed her, burp her, change her, get her back to sleep.... oh shes asleep time for me to shut my eyes and oooohh shes awake repeat. On replay for over a month of her first tiny bits of life. I was a zombie. But I have since improved and so has she.
I managed to find when Millie was only 3 months old a gorgeous (and I am not joking here I mean ridiculously good looking) man who also happened to be a lovely person. The joke was definitely on me and teaches me for stereotyping that all gorgeous young muscley men are shallow wankers with no brain. He has hung around since and done the best he can for not ever wanting kids or liking them. To welcome little Millie into this world, For which I am ever greatful. Hes not perfect no one is but he has stuck by us through the worst and best of times through ups and downs. Which is why after separating and moving back in with my mother (explains the above) we have decided to make things work. For good.
I think I hear mils stirring... time to go chat soon.
Millies Mumma
xo
